In 1970 Arnold R. Beisser described ‘The paradoxical theory of change.’ He stated that ‘change occurs when one becomes what he is, not when he tries to become what he is not.’

It is a suggestion to fully accept and embody who one is instead of trying to become some version of self that resembles ideals. It is an invitation to achieve change without seeking to force it, and instead to establish the circumstances in which change can emerge. It’s based on the idea, that change is always happening and that within this change there is space for natural growth. However, this growth needs to be made visible. The assumption is that applying a process of ongoing awareness, contact and assimilation serves this purpose.

What this asks is to let go of trying to change and instead focus on noticing the change as it is happening. It requires some trust in self. The trust, that as change is happening our values and intentions will shape the process in a way that is sustainable for us. The trust, that who we are is a person we can appreciate.

The big leap here may be to accept, that being a person we can appreciate doesn’t mean, that we will like everything this person presents us with.

It’s also important not to confuse change with focused learning of skills, for example. The activity of learning naturally involves a process of awareness, contact, and assimilation. Paying attention to It will help us notice the change that is happening. But there is also the learning that happens beyond our efforts to learn or our awareness of the learning as it happens. That is where being aware of the existence of a natural process of growth helps.

I found the idea of hunting and gathering to be a useful metaphor in this context.

We may have a preference for either of both and even assume that we only do one. But, in reality, both are happening. Our ability to engage in both and combine them helps us achieve our goals.

The process of gathering allows becoming acquainted with all the facets and possibilities that are accessible at this stage. This makes the available changes visible. The process of hunting is different in so far as it is based on a choice. Possibly a choice that resulted from having made the variety of accessible facets and possibilities visible. Hunting is the effort to assess how accessible a specific change is.